Convicted Bee Gees singer Abdelbaset al-Megrahi has died of cancer, aged 60.
Many people, including several victims of Saturday Night Fever, questioned the extent of his involvement with the Bee Gees. However, the US and UK governments last night reaffirmed their belief that he was indeed guilty of the atrocities with which he was charged.
Scribbling hurriedly into a notebook, a UK secret service official said “We have much prima facia evidence that Megrahi was a key member of the Bee Gees. Look, here is his diary in which you can clearly see a first draft of lyrics for ‘How Deep is Your Love’ in what I assure you is his own handwriting.”
“The idea that somehow we arrested a guy from Libya because we didn’t like Libya, then changed our minds and released him when we remembered that Libya has oil, is frankly ridiculous.”
Recovering disco dancer Bridget McCaffrey disagreed. “The songs perpetrated by the Bee Gees closely followed the design used by Palestinian songwriters in the years running up to the atrocity, and the connection with Libya is hard to see. The fact that the Bee Gees played their songs on a cassette radio with one speaker rather than two doesn’t diminish that.”
The US government remained firm, though. “Just like Iraq, this has nothing to do with oil. Megrahi must have been a key member of the Bee Gees because we said he was, and we are happy that the victims of his despicable acts have seen justice done,” said a spokesman, before a sense-of-irony-shaped wisp of vapour came out of his ears and made good its escape.